LifeLines

General Category => Ubiq => Topic started by: Varlaax on December 29, 2017, 08:59:57 PM

Title: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on December 29, 2017, 08:59:57 PM
Q: What do you call a fashionable Vector?

A: Dressed to kill.

Ba dum pish.

Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on December 29, 2017, 09:01:29 PM
Q: Why did the Casualty eat a light bulb?

A: Because he wanted a light snack.

Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on December 29, 2017, 09:02:56 PM
Q: What is the highest form of compliment you can give a Latent? 

A: Boy do you look to be in grave condition.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 04, 2018, 11:54:13 PM
Q: When do Casualties go to sleep?

A: When they are dead tired.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 05, 2018, 12:00:00 AM
Q: What did the Taker do when he wanted Bounty and a Nap?

A: He got some Casual Zees!
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 05, 2018, 12:07:47 AM
Q: What's a Vectors favourite food?

A: Take(r) out
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 05, 2018, 12:14:14 AM
Q: What do you do if you see a Vector in the Recession?

A: Hope it's Halloween.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 05, 2018, 12:19:45 AM
Q: What does it take to become a Latent?

A: DEADication
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 05, 2018, 12:28:38 AM
Q: Why did the Vector eat the DHQS operatives?

A: To do the world a favour.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 05, 2018, 12:31:53 AM
Q: Why did the Ministry of Kindness sniper shoot Big Ben?

A: He was told to kill some time.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 05, 2018, 12:37:51 AM
Q: What is black, white & soon to be dead all over?

A: A Casualty in a TUXEDO!
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 05, 2018, 12:40:39 AM
Q: What did the Black Math say to the Casualty?

A: I'm dying to MEAT you.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 05, 2018, 12:57:59 AM
Q: What streets do Casualties like best?

A: Dead Ends
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 05, 2018, 01:05:48 AM
Q: Where does a Randian keep their bounty?

A: In Your pockets
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 05, 2018, 01:08:01 AM
Q: What do you get when a Meek invites you to drop in for a meal?

A: A small bite and a little change.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 05, 2018, 01:10:36 AM
Q: Why couldn't the Casualty feel its feet?

A: Because the Taker had cut its arms off.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 05, 2018, 01:14:34 AM
Q: What time do Casualties like to eat?

A: Ate o'clock
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 05, 2018, 01:17:37 AM
Q: Why aren't Recession restaurants popular with Immunes?

A: Because dinner costs an arm and a leg!

Ba dum pish
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Fisticuffs on January 05, 2018, 02:43:25 AM
Q.Why was the Chosen kicked off the taker crew?

A.He was always LATEnt to work.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Fisticuffs on January 05, 2018, 02:46:40 AM
Q.Did you hear about the hippy colony that got overrun by vectors?

A.They all tie-Died.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 05, 2018, 10:02:52 PM
Q: What kind of makeup do Cs wear?

A: Mas-scare-ya.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 05, 2018, 10:04:12 PM
Q: What do you get when you cross a Vector with a snowman?

A: A bad case of FrostBITE!
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 05, 2018, 10:07:35 PM
Q: What did the Meek get his medal for?

A: Deadication.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 05, 2018, 10:12:42 PM
Q: What do kids in the Recession call DHQS propaganda?

A: History class
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 05, 2018, 10:14:39 PM
Q: Why is the Crash the same as Darwinism?

A: They both had natural selection
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 05, 2018, 10:17:58 PM
Q: What do you call a Vector that can't talk but keeps farting?

A: Silent but deadly
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 05, 2018, 10:19:04 PM
Q: What do you call an Abberant?

A: Nothing. They don't exist.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 05, 2018, 10:22:03 PM
Randian belief: A man is innocent until proven broke.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 05, 2018, 10:32:58 PM
Q: How many Randians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: 3. One to set the price. One to post the job. One to rip the Takers off.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 05, 2018, 10:50:30 PM
Q: Whats the difference between a Starbucks in the Recession and a Randian selling coffee?
 
A: Nothing, they both empty your wallet.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 05, 2018, 10:53:42 PM
Q: Why does coffee in the Loss taste like mud?

A: Because it was ground a couple of minutes ago.

Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 05, 2018, 10:56:45 PM
Q: Why was the Casualty afraid to cross the road?

A: He had lost his guts
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 05, 2018, 11:03:31 PM
Q: Why did the Distributy worker apologise for his drone jokes?

A:Because they weren't REMOTELY funny.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 05, 2018, 11:10:32 PM
Q: What did the Taker say to the Distributy worker about his jokes?

A: You just drone on and on.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 05, 2018, 11:12:54 PM
Q: What did the Meek say to the Taker?

A: You want some Casualty jokes? Let me dig some out first.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 05, 2018, 11:25:07 PM
Q: Why did the Recession family play monopoly?

A: To get out of Free Parking.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 05, 2018, 11:35:54 PM
Q: Why did the Crusader study Ebola?

A: She was on vacation
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 06, 2018, 09:40:52 AM
Q: Why did the Takers kill the Economists?

A: They didn't support the Carrion Economy.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 06, 2018, 09:45:01 AM
Q: Why did the Ministry of Kindness operatives take over the chocolate factory?

A: They wanted to take all the Bounty they could.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 06, 2018, 09:51:36 AM
Q: Why was the DHQS Punch Bot angry?

A: Takers kept pushing its buttons

Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 06, 2018, 10:25:17 AM
Q: Why don't Black Math like using pi to calculate k/d ratios?

A: It goes on forever
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 06, 2018, 10:26:33 AM
Q: What tests do Crusader teachers give students?

Q: Blood tests
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 06, 2018, 07:59:43 PM
Q: What do Immunes say before a fight?

A: You want a piece of me?
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 06, 2018, 08:01:37 PM
Q: How do Black Math celebrate Halloween?

A: They paint the town dead.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 06, 2018, 08:04:02 PM
Q: What do you call a friendly LALA?

A: Robinson Crusoe
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 06, 2018, 08:12:17 PM
Q: What do you call a person who hasn't washed in years, wears dirty clothes, struggles to survive daily and suffers malnutrition.

A:  An average Recession citizen.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 06, 2018, 08:21:15 PM
Q: What do you call a Black Math cultist with a KD ratio of 2.0?

A: A pre-teen.
 
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 06, 2018, 08:23:58 PM
Q: What did the Black Math say about his new suicide vest?

A: It'll be a blast!
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 11, 2018, 09:13:38 PM
Q: Why did President Hunter know people were happy to see him?

A: They waved using all their fingers.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 11, 2018, 09:27:27 PM
"Is it hard to be in the Recession?" – "Only for the first 1000 years."
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 11, 2018, 09:52:16 PM
Q: What do Takers say when they see BeeMail drones in the Loss?

A: Free Gifts!
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 11, 2018, 09:58:08 PM
I brought shoes from a Recession Soma Dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day.

Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 11, 2018, 10:06:16 PM
Q: What do you call a dead Casualty loaded up with decent equipment, bounty, food, water and weapons?

A: A member of the last Taker  crew to take the job.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 11, 2018, 10:07:56 PM
Q: What do you call an insect infected by the Blight?

A: A CasualBee!
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 11, 2018, 10:20:42 PM
Q: Why do Detoxin Vectors make you hungry?

A: They want your graaiins!
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 11, 2018, 10:25:51 PM
Q: Did you hear about the LALA fashionista?

A: He liked to dress in Casual T.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 11, 2018, 10:32:07 PM
A group of Randians walk into a bar in the Loss. The bartender serves them tainted alcohol because there are no regulations, no rules and no capitalism. They die.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 11, 2018, 10:41:30 PM
Q: What did the Randian say to the Immune during negotiations?

A: You don't have a leg to stand on...
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 11, 2018, 10:43:48 PM
Q: What did the Vector say to his Latent friends?

A: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Zombody stop me!
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 11, 2018, 11:00:48 PM
Q: Did you hear about the fire in Free Parking?

A: It was In Tents.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 25, 2018, 02:13:39 PM
Q: How did the Taker make sure his Randian girlfriend would never forget him?

A: He borrowed bounty from her.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 25, 2018, 04:19:17 PM
I really want to tell a DHQS joke on Ubiq but I feel like they've heard them all before.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 25, 2018, 04:25:00 PM
Q: Does anyone feel like their being watched?

A: DHQS : 'they're'
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 25, 2018, 04:31:04 PM
Q: How many Randians does it take to clean a Loss toilet?

A: None! Contracted slaves do all the work to make a profit!
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 25, 2018, 04:38:22 PM
Q: Why were the Casualties so unsociable?

A: They were fed up with people.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 25, 2018, 04:46:49 PM
Q: Why didn't the Vector laugh at the joke?

A: She didn't find it humerus.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 25, 2018, 04:53:37 PM
Q: Did you hear about the Loss DJ who got shot by the DHQS?

A: He liked Staying Alive too much.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 25, 2018, 04:58:58 PM
I'm in a serious relationship with Ubiq... You could say we have a good connection.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 25, 2018, 05:02:19 PM
Famous Randian Saying:

'If you are born poor it's not your mistake but if you die poor it's definitely your mistake.'
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 25, 2018, 07:57:13 PM
Q: Which is more useful in the Loss? Television or newspaper?

A: Newspaper. You can't wipe your ass with a TV.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on January 26, 2018, 07:21:10 AM
Q: Why did the Taker wait so long for StopLoss treatment?

A: They had to work out a market solution for her symptoms.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 09, 2018, 10:36:06 PM
Q: What did Gnat say to Banhammer when she saw Casualties?

A: Stop. Hammertime! 
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 09, 2018, 10:44:00 PM
Q: How do we know President Hunter is dead?

A: Shoot again and see if he moves.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 09, 2018, 10:48:22 PM
Q: Did you hear about the dead Randian?

A: He had a real Bounty problem. He wouldn't lend me any!
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 09, 2018, 10:50:57 PM
What doesn't kill a Taker makes them stronger.

Except  Aberrants.

Abberants will kill you.

Twice
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 09, 2018, 11:19:59 PM
In the Loss you break government law.

In Recession government law breaks you!
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 09, 2018, 11:28:01 PM
Welcome to Canada.

Casualty and Blight free!

Too much Radiation.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 09, 2018, 11:30:30 PM
Q: Why did the Meek Latent spit on everyone he met?

A: He wanted to make some new friends.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 09, 2018, 11:38:55 PM
Q: Did you hear about the Starbucks in the Recession?

A: I don't give a frapp.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 09, 2018, 11:48:54 PM
I walked into a bar.

Ow.

Two Casualties walked into a bar.

I shot them.

Three Meek walked into a bar.

I burned it down.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 09, 2018, 11:59:20 PM
Q: Did you hear the joke about the Blight?

A: I'm not telling you. I don't want to spread it around.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 10, 2018, 12:18:30 AM
Q: Did you hear about the troll who started a flamewar with Gnat on Ubiq?

A: My last job was to take them out. Don't be a dick on Ubiq.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 10, 2018, 12:26:47 AM
Q: Want to hear a Blight joke?

A: Nah. You won't get it.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 10, 2018, 12:31:44 AM
Q: What do you call a Casualty on top of a helicopter?

A: Scary confetti
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 10, 2018, 12:34:06 AM
Q: Blight jokes are like people.

A: Only some people don't get it.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 18, 2018, 12:30:11 PM
Q: Did you hear about the US Loss DJ who kept making DHQS jokes on the radio?

A: Never heard of them but he/she made me laugh.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 18, 2018, 12:35:56 PM
A Casualty walked into a bar.

My Ka-Bar. It died.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 18, 2018, 12:48:00 PM
Q: What's dangerous as hell, can run and shouts apologies?

A: A Steward who just got an attack of conscience. 
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 18, 2018, 08:53:15 PM
Q: How can you tell when a Meek is sick?

A: Check their coffin.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 18, 2018, 08:55:17 PM
Q: Why was the Latent feeling so down?

A: She felt dead inside.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 19, 2018, 03:12:48 PM
Q: Why did the Ministry of Kindness operative get annoyed when he lost his chocolate ration?

Q: He really liked having Bounty.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 19, 2018, 03:31:08 PM
Q: What did the Randian say when asked 'Your money or your life?'

A: 'Sorry, I never accept the first offer.'
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 19, 2018, 03:34:55 PM
 Q: What did the UK Immune say to the Ministry of Kindness operative about the crossword puzzle?

A: You stumped me.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 19, 2018, 03:44:45 PM
Q: What do you call it when a Ministry of Kindness Steward has unleashed an Abberant on an EU Loss enclave and called in an air strike to clean up?

A: Mondays
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 19, 2018, 03:56:01 PM
My US Recession friend works with the DHQS.

They finally tracked him down.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 19, 2018, 04:44:45 PM
'He who fights monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster . . .'

Except Immunes. Screw you Cousin F@K#R.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 19, 2018, 04:51:06 PM
Q: How do you make sure a Randian is dead?

A: Aim for the wallet.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 19, 2018, 09:53:48 PM
Q: How do you make your Latent friend feel better about the Blight?

A: Catch Bubonic Plague.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 19, 2018, 10:20:15 PM
Q: How can you tell someone is a Taker?

A: They have a cool gun but no shirt or shoes.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 19, 2018, 10:24:19 PM
US Recession Citizens have accused the DHQS of spying on them.

According to their phone calls and emails...
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 19, 2018, 10:56:26 PM
Q: Where does the Blight go when a Vector dies?

A: Everywhere.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 19, 2018, 11:01:29 PM
Q: Why did the Black Math die killing a horde of Casualties?

A: To get to the other side.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 22, 2018, 09:35:15 PM
Q: The Blight is like food in the Loss.

A: Not everybody gets it.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 22, 2018, 09:37:04 PM
Q: Did you hear about the Latent Enclave?

A: Guess I won't beheading there anytime soon.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 22, 2018, 09:39:22 PM
Q: What makes Meek jokes so funny?

A: The execution of the joke.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 22, 2018, 09:48:10 PM
We don't negotiate with Takers in the Loss!

We finance them.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 22, 2018, 09:53:30 PM
Q: You know the best part about Ministry of Kindness jokes?

A: The execution.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 22, 2018, 09:55:12 PM
Q: Why are Casualties like this Ubiq joke thread?

A: They just keep on coming.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on February 22, 2018, 09:58:09 PM
Q: What's a Vectors favourite song?

A: Don't Stop 'Till You've Had Enough
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 05, 2018, 10:07:45 AM
 Q: How is an apple like a Meek cultist?

A: They both look good hanging from a tree.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 05, 2018, 10:16:28 AM
Q: Why are there gates around Recession cemeteries?

A: Because people are dying to get in.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 08, 2018, 02:39:55 PM
Q: Why is the Recession a progressive place to live in?

A: They've solved income inequality
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 08, 2018, 02:46:07 PM
Q: Why did God create Stewards?

A: To make Casualties look good.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 08, 2018, 02:53:30 PM
Q: What do you call an ideal home in the Loss?

A: A place with a decent Ubiq connection.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 08, 2018, 02:57:50 PM
Q: What do you call a secure, hidden bunker with private security, plumbing, heating, food supplies and a hot tub in the Loss.

A: A great dream last night.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 08, 2018, 09:38:22 PM
Q: Why did the DHQS raid the lightbulb factory?

A: They wanted to catch some Moths.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 08, 2018, 09:42:12 PM
Q: THERE WERE NO GMO CROPS AROUND IN 1982. WHAT ELSE WASN'T AROUND?

A: Great Blight jokes!
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 08, 2018, 10:01:20 PM
 Q: Why don't Meek tell Blight jokes?

A: They don't find them funny unless everyone gets it.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 08, 2018, 10:24:13 PM
Q: What was the worst part of the Crash?

A: The second part
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 08, 2018, 10:27:38 PM
1: You don't need a Taker crew to go out in the EU Loss.

2: You need a Taker crew to go out in the EU Loss twice 
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 08, 2018, 10:29:50 PM
There's no such thing as an appropriate Casualty joke

That's why it's a joke
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 08, 2018, 10:38:41 PM
Q: What's worse than a sociopathic Steward with a bad mood and no morals?

A: One with a sense of humour and a pork pie hat. Screw you Mr U!
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 08, 2018, 10:46:17 PM
Q: What do you call a Taker wearing sunglasses, black trench coat, army boots wielding a katana.

A: 5 minutes life expectancy
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 08, 2018, 10:47:49 PM
Q: Why is this Ubiq joke thread like the Blight?

A: It just won't die
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 08, 2018, 10:52:44 PM
Q: What do you call Recession Bait wearing Ubiq glasses in the Loss?

A: A spec-Taker
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 10, 2018, 10:03:22 PM
Q: Did you hear about the Recession Bait who called Gnat a traitorous bitch to her face?

A: May they rest in pieces
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 11, 2018, 10:26:53 AM
 Q: What do you call a Death Squad in the Recession?

A: A knock, a crash and a scream
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 11, 2018, 10:22:40 PM
Q: What's worse than living in the Loss?

A: Living in the 1340s
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 12, 2018, 09:43:47 AM
Q: How many Recession citizens does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. They all talk about how good the old one was.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 12, 2018, 09:46:40 AM
People living in the Loss used to be addicted to soap.

But they're clean now.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 12, 2018, 09:50:54 AM
Q: What do you call a Taker who keeps posting jokes on Ubiq and enters the UK Recession?

A: Dead on Arrival
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 12, 2018, 10:26:04 AM
Q: What do you call forced servitude in a Randian cult?

A: A long term contract with minimal benefits but great synergy
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 12, 2018, 10:28:06 AM
Q: What do you call a Crusader Cult with an amphetamines addiction?

A: Mandatory
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 12, 2018, 10:36:13 AM
I used up all my sick days in my Recession job.

So I called in Latent.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 12, 2018, 01:45:59 PM
Q: Why aren't there more jokes about President Hunter?

A: Because the Punch line is too long
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 14, 2018, 06:11:37 PM
Ministry of Kindness says No to Drugs!

On a related note did you take your Soma Tea today?
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 14, 2018, 08:26:10 PM
Q: What's worse than having a Soma addiction in the EU Loss?

A: Having a tea addiction in the UK
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 14, 2018, 08:33:18 PM
Q: Why did the Taker need Soma after a job at Disneyland?

A: She felt Mouserable
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 14, 2018, 08:39:21 PM
Q: Is your average Recession citizen happy?

A: Soma the time
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 14, 2018, 09:24:42 PM
Q: Why did the Latent Crusader dress like a Plague Doctor?

A: He didn't want to scare his patients
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 16, 2018, 09:42:45 AM
Q: What do you call soldiers who protected Civilians and Family during the Crash?

A: Humanitarians
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 16, 2018, 09:52:00 AM
Q: How can you talk to the dead?

A: Open a Ubiq call to someone in the Loss
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax on March 18, 2018, 01:44:31 PM
Q: How do you cure Ebola?

A: Take Suppresin
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Gully on April 23, 2018, 05:46:00 AM
these are all terrible and you should feel pleased with yourself
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 12, 2018, 06:57:22 PM
Q: What do you call a Taker having unprotected sex with a Latent?

A: Assisted suicide.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 12, 2018, 07:23:47 PM
Please don't panic about The Blight, just watch this non-stop 24 coverage on how it spreads and could wipe out the Human race in 6 weeks.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 12, 2018, 07:30:25 PM
Q: Whats scarier than the Blight but would make the world a better place?

A: Nuclear war
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 12, 2018, 07:44:10 PM
I like my humour dark, nihilistic and depressing.

Who cares, we're all going to die no matter what.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 12, 2018, 07:47:36 PM
Q: What do you call an unrepentant, government supported sociopathic killer?

A: U (Mr)
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 12, 2018, 07:55:41 PM
Is there Life after Death?

Why not take suppresin and find out?

(This joke was sponsored by The Meek. And then they died.)
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 12, 2018, 08:08:16 PM
Q: Why can't you tell DHQS knock knock jokes?

A: Because they shoot the door
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 12, 2018, 08:09:37 PM
Q: What do you call a married Immune couple?

A: A pension fund
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 12, 2018, 08:10:39 PM
Q: What do you call an Immune who sleeps with you?

A: Friend with four benefits
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 12, 2018, 08:13:25 PM
Q: What do you call a Taker who posts jokes on Ubiq?

A: Maybe an Abberant?

H4LO[3LLOELOTAK3rsW@nnnTBouNTYY?-M3UbeeqAdresS4IZ.. %":&H4LO[3LLOELOTAK3RSW.. W@nnnTBouNTYY@nnnTBouNTYY. He l p. M 3. H E

L P.

OK who posted this on my Ubiq account. Is this a Joke? That's not funny.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 12, 2018, 08:14:33 PM
Q: What do you call a Taker group made of Immunes.

A: The winning lottery ticket
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 12, 2018, 08:30:47 PM
Q: What's the scariest thing in the Recession?

A: The memory of a decent cup of tea.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 12, 2018, 08:39:06 PM
Q: Which is faster Hot or Cold Blight?

A: Hot, you can always catch a cold.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 12, 2018, 09:09:04 PM
My Taker friend who made it to the Recession told his son that Casualties aren't real.

Just like his Recession mum.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 12, 2018, 09:17:07 PM
Alas poor Yorik.

I chew him well.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 12, 2018, 09:18:46 PM
I have enough Bounty to last me the rest of my life.

If I die next week.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 13, 2018, 07:03:25 AM
I'm not worried about the DHQS finding my personal information.

I already posted it on Ubiq.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 14, 2018, 08:54:38 PM
Q: Why did the Meek Latent Randian cross into the Recession?

A: To increase demand for running shoes.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 14, 2018, 09:28:30 PM
You can make jokes about anything.

Just not the Recession. That's crossing the border.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 15, 2018, 05:22:35 AM
Jokes about boiling your own urine in the EU Loss.

Piss me off.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 15, 2018, 05:46:47 AM
Q: Why did the Vector run into the hospital?

A: To learn some sick jokes
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 15, 2018, 07:50:40 PM
Q: What was the last thing that went through the Vectors mind?

A: My bullet
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 15, 2018, 07:53:46 PM
I believe I can kill anything.

Unfortunately, I don't believe in Aberrants.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 15, 2018, 07:59:51 PM
I believe that Casualties are a natural disaster.

Naturally they cause disasters.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 15, 2018, 08:03:31 PM
Soma the time you feel great but soma the time you feel depressed.

Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 15, 2018, 08:13:59 PM
Popular Recession names for kids:

Diamond, Goldie, Mercedes, Ubiq Bill, Rent, Starvie, Stealer
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 16, 2018, 01:42:01 PM
 Q: What's the difference between a Taker and a Raider?

A: One more bad day
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 17, 2018, 08:15:49 AM
I like my coffee how I like my Blight, dark and strong enough to raise me from me from the dead.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 17, 2018, 08:18:45 AM
What's the best thing about the Blight?

Coming back for a second bite to eat.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 17, 2018, 08:24:59 AM
If you've read through all these bad jokes. Congratulations you're not a Casualty.

You might be an Abberant though.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 17, 2018, 08:31:49 AM
 Recession Citizens are so hungry they open Ubiq accounts for the spam.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 17, 2018, 08:38:07 AM
The number of posts about Soma is too damn high!
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 17, 2018, 08:41:18 AM
I hate people who take Soma, like Raiders, DHQS, Black Math, Takers, my friends, my family, myself, everyone in my Enclave, the Recession population.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 17, 2018, 09:21:28 AM
Knock Knock

Who's there?

An Immune with no hands!
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 17, 2018, 09:29:14 AM
Did you hear about the Randian Cult Leader who got thrown out of his Enclave?

He was a non-prophet.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 17, 2018, 01:26:48 PM
 Q: What's a Taker's retirement plan?

A: Usually sudden
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 17, 2018, 08:02:32 PM
Q: Why did the Taker shoot her friend Bruce?

A: She didn't want him to turn Dead-Lee.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 17, 2018, 08:38:20 PM
Takers don't always die.

But when they do. They don't.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 17, 2018, 08:48:59 PM
Q: Who killed Varlaax for making bad jokes on Life Lines?

A: There is no punchline.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 18, 2018, 05:56:16 AM
Remember your Cs, Ps and Ts at all times in whatever Loss you're in.

Casualties, Psychos and Takers.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 18, 2018, 06:26:16 AM
You don't have to be crazy to work in the Loss.

It'll train you. Or you die. Twice.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 19, 2018, 01:37:06 PM
Casualties eat food when hungry.

Joking, they eat you.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 19, 2018, 01:50:33 PM
 Q: What do you call someone in the Loss who wears shoes, has a full stomach and showered in the last 2 months?

A: Tourist
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 19, 2018, 01:53:09 PM
Q: Why don't other Loss people post jokes on this thread?

A: It's easier to be a Taker!
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 19, 2018, 02:00:25 PM
Q: What do Takers like on their birthday?

A: A suppliez party
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 19, 2018, 02:05:15 PM
Q: Did you hear about the rich Randian Taker?

A: He used to shoot on delivery.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 19, 2018, 02:13:05 PM
Beware the most dangerous insects in the Loss.

The Casualbees!
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 19, 2018, 02:16:04 PM
Q: What do you do when you see a Meek being chased by Black Math?

A: Join the fun!
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 19, 2018, 04:33:47 PM
 Q: Why are Takers in the Loss like Sharks?

A: They need to keep moving or die.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 19, 2018, 08:40:10 PM
Q: How do Takers go fishing for Bounty?

A: With Recession Bait.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 20, 2018, 08:14:38 AM
Q: Why don't Crusaders get angry?

A: They don't want to lose patients.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 20, 2018, 04:54:11 PM
Q: Why did the Takers bury the Shepard?

A: They felt deep down he was a good person.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 20, 2018, 04:58:33 PM
I like my Starbucks Coffee how I like Latent slavery.

Non-existent and bloody impossible in the Loss.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 20, 2018, 05:03:32 PM
I joined Black Math to boost my self-esteem.

It's great. I keep being told 'You're the bomb!'.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 20, 2018, 05:05:34 PM
A Casualty walked into a bar.

... And a tree, and a bench, and a hole.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 20, 2018, 05:09:48 PM
Q: What's a Taker's favourites exercise?

A: Skull Crushers.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 20, 2018, 05:14:49 PM
'Did you know I kill Abberants?'

'Abberants don't exist!'

'You're welcome.'
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 22, 2018, 07:11:07 PM
It's not my fault people keep disappearing from the Enclave at meal times.

I'm so fed up with people.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 22, 2018, 07:24:02 PM
A Black Math with short term memory loss kills a Casualty.

A Black Math with short term memory loss kills a Casualty.

A Black Math with short term memory loss kills a Casualty.

A Black Math with short term memory loss kills a Casualty.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 22, 2018, 07:27:46 PM
What's the difference between a Taker and a Raider?

One Takes for profit, the other profits off Takers.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 22, 2018, 07:33:14 PM
Q: Did you hear about Takers law?

A: Everything that could go wrong has already happened.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 23, 2018, 06:28:46 AM
Q: What do Black Math students study?

A: Triggernometry
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 23, 2018, 06:34:25 AM
Don't make jokes about skinny Takers.

They dont work out.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 24, 2018, 07:52:59 PM
I'm not Immune!

I've just never been bitten by the Blight twice.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 24, 2018, 07:57:13 PM
Q: How do you kill a whole Enclave?

A: Punch a Latent in the face.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 24, 2018, 08:00:56 PM
Q: What's worse than the Blight?

A: Infecting someone to stop the jokes.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 24, 2018, 08:11:05 PM
Q: Did you hear about the Taker who shot Casualties in the legs for a living?

A: He head enough.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 24, 2018, 08:12:50 PM
I am so sick of Casualties...


... Of war.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 24, 2018, 08:19:30 PM
Q: What do you call a Randian who just ripped you off?

A: Dead man talking
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 24, 2018, 08:23:28 PM
Q: What's are Taker's favorite sweets?

A: Jawbreakers
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 24, 2018, 08:27:32 PM
Q: What do you call a Taker who keeps posting Casualty jokes that aren't funny.

A: Dead boring, then dead funny. Then plain dead.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 24, 2018, 08:34:43 PM
Did you hear about the Casualties with fresh breath?

They ate ligamints
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 24, 2018, 08:36:24 PM
Q: What do you call a horde of Vectors?

A: A good reason to buy running shoes.


Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 24, 2018, 08:37:47 PM
Q: Why did the Vector fall down the well?

A: She didn't see that well
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 24, 2018, 08:40:42 PM
Q: Why did the Casualty trip over the bra?

A: It was a booby trap
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 24, 2018, 08:43:55 PM
Q: Why are Takers called Takers?

A: Because Bad Ass Wasteland Survivor Gods of Destruction Meat Bags and Wealth takes too long to say.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 24, 2018, 09:11:41 PM
Q: Who won the Vector race?

A: It was dead even
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 24, 2018, 09:15:30 PM
Q: What's the difference between a Casualty and a DHQS Agent?

A: One is a brainless, dirty, evil abomination, and the other one used to be human.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 24, 2018, 09:17:41 PM
Q: Why did the Taker stop being a Teacher?

A: He only had one pupil left.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 24, 2018, 09:18:34 PM
Q: Why can I make so many Recession jokes?

A: Because they can't read them.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 24, 2018, 09:21:20 PM
Q: What do you call Casualties with no eyes?

A: Casualtes
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 24, 2018, 09:24:44 PM
My Casualty jokes are so bad...

... They're decomposing
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 24, 2018, 09:26:47 PM
How do you infect Ubiq specs?

Byte them
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 24, 2018, 09:37:34 PM
 Q: What's a popular Latent Taker name?

A: Aim-High!
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 24, 2018, 10:07:30 PM
Side effects of StopLoss treatment.

Dizziness, anger and financial strain.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 24, 2018, 10:10:29 PM
People in the Recession are so poor, they can't even pay attention.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 25, 2018, 06:50:20 PM
I shouldn't tell people that young people in the Recession can't read.

I should write it.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 25, 2018, 06:56:40 PM
Takers don't lose sleep over the plight of Recession sheep.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 25, 2018, 07:02:05 PM
Last night in my bed, I was gazing up at the stars and was thinking to myself…

I really miss having a roof, walls, doors, windows, plumbing, electricity.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 25, 2018, 07:12:08 PM
I was always taught eat what you kill.

I only realised it's meant to apply to animals.

Thank goodness for Immunity.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 25, 2018, 07:17:02 PM
A blind man was walking down the street.

... He made good Casualty bait.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 25, 2018, 07:18:34 PM
I want to start my own Enclave

But I need to get fundead.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 25, 2018, 07:19:52 PM
I had to kill a Clown Vector the other day.

It went straight for the juggler.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 25, 2018, 07:22:35 PM
What do you call a mindless creature searching for food?

A Recession citizen.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 25, 2018, 07:26:24 PM
Q: What do Cannibal Latents call Vectors?

A: Fast food
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 25, 2018, 07:27:36 PM
Q: What do Takers say when they wake up?

A: Good mourning
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 25, 2018, 07:29:00 PM
Q: What do you call a Casualty with a bell?

A: A dead ringer
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 25, 2018, 07:31:48 PM
A Latent went into a bar and asked for a shot.

They got a 9mm bullet to the face.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 25, 2018, 08:34:07 PM
Don't worry.

If you run out of Blight jokes it's not like society will collapse.

Again. You mean collapse AGAIN.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 25, 2018, 08:38:35 PM
Before the Crash I used to be a dumpster diving homeless person.

I'm glad society has finally caught up.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 25, 2018, 08:40:47 PM
Q: What do you call a Taker armed with garden tools?

A: A raker.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 25, 2018, 08:52:43 PM
Q: What killed the most people during the Crash?

A: Withdrawal.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 26, 2018, 12:23:09 PM
I always go for a run after killing DHQS operatives.

I don't want to be caught.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 26, 2018, 12:31:10 PM
Q: What's a Black Maths favourite candy?

A: Hundreds and thousands.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 26, 2018, 12:35:00 PM
Q: What's the difference between Moths and innocent people?

A: I don't know, I just fly the drones.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 26, 2018, 12:39:52 PM
Q: What do a harvested Immune and a Marathon runner have in common?

A: They're both on their last legs.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 26, 2018, 12:41:35 PM
Q: What do Immunes in the Loss get when the DHQS come?

A: A free truck ride.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 26, 2018, 12:43:36 PM
Q: Why are the people in the Loss the same as people in the Recession?

A: They don't have rights.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 26, 2018, 12:46:18 PM
I like my beer how I like my medicine.

Expensive as hell and from the Recession.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 26, 2018, 12:56:55 PM
Q: Why are Takers like sperm cells?

A: Only one in a million will succeed.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 26, 2018, 02:47:51 PM
Why don't people like burning Casualties?

I think it's hot.

Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 26, 2018, 02:51:47 PM
Q: What's worse than stubbing your toe?

A: The Crash
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 26, 2018, 02:53:40 PM
Q: What does a Taker call the Loss?

A: Mine
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 26, 2018, 03:04:47 PM
Q: Why did the LALA glue a phone to a Casualties face?

A: To talk to his dead family.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 26, 2018, 03:07:19 PM
Q: What's the opposite of a human being?

A: Me. After making all these horrible jokes.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 26, 2018, 03:14:07 PM
Q: What never eats but still lives?

A: People living in the Loss.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 26, 2018, 03:31:03 PM
Q: What do you get for living through the Crash?

A: PTSD
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 26, 2018, 03:36:51 PM
Q: What do you get when you combine a Loss Enclave with pigs and Raiders?

A: Barter Town.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 26, 2018, 03:41:48 PM
 I like my Raiders how I like my food.

Crispy.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 26, 2018, 03:47:24 PM
Did you hear about the insane Crusader?

All she took was placebos.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 26, 2018, 04:05:55 PM
Q: What's the difference between people in the Recession and the Loss?

A: A bullet
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 26, 2018, 04:06:49 PM
I tried to to think of a Casualty joke but I was at a Loss.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 26, 2018, 04:08:40 PM
Q: What's the best thing about being rich in the Recession?

A: Everything.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 27, 2018, 07:15:26 AM
Q: What's the worst part of the Crash?

A: The next day
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 27, 2018, 01:56:35 PM
I know some jokes about unemployment in the Recession but none of them work.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 27, 2018, 02:07:11 PM
I used to do Soma. I still do, but I used to, too.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 27, 2018, 02:11:43 PM
I just saw a Latent with a "YOLO" tattoo.

I shot him in the chest. Liar.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 27, 2018, 02:14:33 PM
9 out of 10 Doctors don't recommend suicide.

The 10th is a Meek.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 27, 2018, 06:42:45 PM
Q: What's a Taker's favourite sport?

A: Cross country.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on May 27, 2018, 09:09:58 PM
Food riots in the Recession. When a problem is it's own solution.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: CodeBlue on June 04, 2018, 10:48:24 PM
The Randian one was actually kinda funny.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 05, 2018, 08:46:38 PM
I wouldn't say I love my new Randian boyfriend so much as value him.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 14, 2018, 08:58:31 AM
Q: What do you call a harvested Immune in China?

A: Jiangshi.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 14, 2018, 09:00:40 AM
Q: What do you call Government help during the Crash?

A: A ghost hunt.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 14, 2018, 09:08:12 AM
You can borrow my Casualty jokes.

But they're not to be Taken.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 14, 2018, 09:09:42 AM
Q: What do Black Math call a destroyed Meek Enclave?

A: A good warm up.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 14, 2018, 10:27:09 PM
Malleus pulled out a gun and killed  50 Casualties.

Then he started shooting.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 14, 2018, 10:28:23 PM
Q: What caused the Crash?

A: Banhammer shook hands with Malleus.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 14, 2018, 10:32:38 PM
Banhammer died five years ago.

Death is too scared to tell him.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 14, 2018, 10:42:45 PM
A Vector once bit Malleus.

It died two days later.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 14, 2018, 10:45:12 PM
Banhammer once wiped out a DHQS Enclave.

By staring.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 17, 2018, 08:35:06 AM
Q: Why are there more DHQS than Banhammer jokes?

A: Because Banhammer is no joke.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 18, 2018, 03:49:22 PM
Q: Why did the Casualty eat the Taker?

A: It was on a protein poor diet.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 18, 2018, 03:59:48 PM
Q: What do you call a Vegan Detoxin Survivor alive in the Loss?

A: A miracle.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 18, 2018, 05:29:23 PM
Q: What do you call meat in the Recession?

A: The lottery.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 18, 2018, 06:47:58 PM
Q: How do you make an equal opportunity society?

A: Infect everyone with the Blight.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 18, 2018, 07:10:26 PM
Randians, when you can enslave Immunes and Latents, kill for profits and be praised for having great business sense.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 18, 2018, 07:21:06 PM
I just told a Blight tester joke.

No reaction.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 18, 2018, 07:40:39 PM
Q: What's killed more people than the Blight and is also incurable?

A: Death.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 18, 2018, 07:50:36 PM
Q: What do you call an attack by Randian Raiders on a Loss Enclave?

A: Human resource recruitment.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 18, 2018, 07:58:12 PM
Q: What do you call getting kissed by your Latent friend?

A: Friendly fire.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 18, 2018, 08:54:44 PM
There are no Casualty jokes.

They're all real stories.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 18, 2018, 10:01:07 PM
Q: What came after the Crash and the Whisper?

A: The Bang.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: MauveHand on June 18, 2018, 10:55:05 PM
What's that Casualty's name, the one impaled on the spear?

keBob
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: MauveHand on June 19, 2018, 01:01:26 AM
Q: What do you call a ruthless but successful negotiator in the US Loss?

A: The Mauve Hand.

Ain't no joke if it's truth. And the right answer for any group is "hired." If your negotiator's got a bit of Ruth left, they ain't gonna be successful. Just sayin'.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 19, 2018, 04:01:53 PM
In the Enclave of Distributee only the illiterate are truly safe.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 19, 2018, 06:45:42 PM
The meaning of life.

From the perspective of a Taker.

Pay bills...

... and die.

Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 19, 2018, 06:51:20 PM
Q: Why was six scared of seven?

A: Because Black Math initiation is terrifying.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 19, 2018, 06:59:51 PM
 Q: What do you call a lone Survivalist who survived the Crash and became a Taker?

A: Under qualified.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 19, 2018, 07:04:18 PM
Death once had a near Banhammer experience.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 19, 2018, 07:27:32 PM
Q: What created the Blight?

A: The Blight.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 20, 2018, 08:17:36 PM
No one is actually starving in the Recession, just malnourished and really, really hungry.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 20, 2018, 08:42:41 PM
“The Loss has a going out of business sale. Everything must die.”

This includes Omar Shakti.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 20, 2018, 08:56:01 PM
Q: Why is the Cold War between the DHQS and The Moths so boring?

A: They both keep droning on and on...
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 20, 2018, 09:01:44 PM
Q: What do you call obscure Loss jokes?

A: The same as money in the Recession. Not everyone will get it.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: MauveHand on June 20, 2018, 09:09:08 PM
What do you call a group of women in Black Math?

Nuns with guns
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: MauveHand on June 20, 2018, 09:34:39 PM
What do you call a group of women in Black Math?

Nuns with guns

I like it. Wasn't there an actual Taker group called Nuns with Guns?

There's definitely one. Sister Agatha down in Grapevine; she's gotta be pushing 70 at least, and the woman's got enough tally tats that she's fully sleeved.

Not sure she belongs in this thread; once you see her pistol-whip a Vector, you know she's no joke.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 20, 2018, 09:39:27 PM
Q: What do you call a Taker who's willing to shoot anyone in the back of the head?

A: Still alive today.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 21, 2018, 07:51:52 AM
Q: What do you call call the British version of the DHQS?

A: Whatever you want. I'm not making that mistake again.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 24, 2018, 09:14:16 AM
Q: When are Casualties the most hungry?

A: Chewsday
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 24, 2018, 09:23:00 AM
Once there was a Casualty who thought he was dead.

He turned out to be a LALA who was sick in the head.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 24, 2018, 09:24:36 AM
Q: What do you call the feeling of safety in a Recession?

A: An illusion
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 24, 2018, 09:27:10 AM
Once there was a Taker called Fred.

He turned Vector and ran at me so I shot him in the head.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 24, 2018, 09:37:36 AM
Q: Why is mud coffee so popular in the Loss?

A: Because it's dirt cheap
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 24, 2018, 09:43:12 AM
Q: What do you call police driving through the Loss in their cars?

A: The Main Force Patrol (MFP)
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 24, 2018, 12:17:40 PM
Two little Meek looking for some more.

Along came another two and I killed four.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 24, 2018, 02:32:00 PM
Little Boy Blue, come blow your horn
The Casualties are coming
The Enclave must be warned
Where is the boy to sound the alarm?
Well, it's harder to play when a Vector tore off your arm.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 24, 2018, 02:35:10 PM
Hickory Dictory Dock
Mankind is on the rocks
The Vectors come to bite off my bum
Hickory Dictory Dock
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: MauveHand on June 24, 2018, 02:36:29 PM
There once was a man in an Enclave
Whose family he worked hard to save.
His efforts were naught
Despite how he fought
In the end they're all in a mass grave.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 24, 2018, 02:37:25 PM
Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary
How does your Garden Grow?
With pretty C's buried up to their knees and Takers all in tow
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 24, 2018, 02:44:26 PM
To market, to market to buy a new gun
Dead again, dead again, my work is done
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 24, 2018, 02:48:11 PM
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick
Jack died yesterday in the EU Loss
DAMN YOU JACK! I'M NOT PAYING YOUR BLOODY BILLS!
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 24, 2018, 02:53:47 PM
Georgie Porgie, Pudding and Pie
Spat on the Enclave to make them die
Along came Black Math to save the day and Georgie Porgie the Meek ran away
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 24, 2018, 04:02:14 PM
Q: How do you kill 20 flies at once?

A: Slap a Loss denizen in the face.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 24, 2018, 04:05:20 PM
I'm so sick of Meek hanging around...

On the tree outside my Enclave gates.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 24, 2018, 04:07:05 PM
Takers want to be rich.

People living in the Loss just want to be.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 24, 2018, 04:23:56 PM
I don't always tell Latent jokes.

But I keep Suppresin on hand when I do.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 24, 2018, 07:17:50 PM
Q: What do you call drug testing in the Loss?

A: Nostalgia
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 24, 2018, 07:27:35 PM
I was out in the Loss and I saw this Taker who was going to be overwhelmed by Casualties shouting for help...

Don't worry, I got her stuff.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 25, 2018, 03:43:43 PM
Q: What do you call a Taker who survived in a Loss the last five years?

A: Damaged beyond repair but maintainable.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: MauveHand on June 26, 2018, 05:32:35 AM
Q: What do you call a Taker who survived in a Loss the last five years?

A: Damaged beyond repair but maintainable.

We're all damaged, all right
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 26, 2018, 02:31:23 PM
Q: What do you call missing the finale of Altimira?

A: Brutal 
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 26, 2018, 03:43:06 PM
Q: What cakes does Banhammer like?

A: Pound cakes
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 26, 2018, 03:46:53 PM
Did you hear about the new children's toy in the EU Loss?

Mr Potato Famine is back again.

Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 26, 2018, 04:16:06 PM
Five Signs that you're a Successful Taker.

1. You're still alive.
2. You're still alive
3. You're still alive
4. You're still alive
5. You hit Mr JOLS and didn't die.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 26, 2018, 04:44:40 PM
Most Takers are in grave danger.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 28, 2018, 07:54:26 AM
Q: What do you call a Black Math Mr JOLS?

A: Tactical nuclear strike on a global city.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 28, 2018, 08:05:42 AM
Aberrant stories are Loss children's stories for adults.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 28, 2018, 08:09:10 AM
Q: What do you call a Taker who survived in a Loss the last five years?

A: Damaged beyond repair but maintainable.

We're all damaged, all right

All right for Latents, all left for Immunes.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 28, 2018, 08:11:01 AM
The Blight.

Change you can believe in.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 28, 2018, 08:12:33 AM
Tired of Entropy?

Get bit today!
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 29, 2018, 07:43:08 AM
Is it against the the law to work 7 days a week?

Not in a Recession!

Become a Taker Today!
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on June 30, 2018, 07:23:05 PM
Death, taking the fun out of life for the last 500 million years.

The Blight, taking the fun out of death for the last 5 years.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 01, 2018, 08:03:55 PM
I'm an athletic Taker.

I love to surf Ubiq.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 01, 2018, 08:10:41 PM
Not sure if I'm a sociopath or just been a Taker too long...
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 01, 2018, 08:17:43 PM
I never make the same mistake twice about mistaking Latents and Casualties in the Loss.

I make it five or six times to be sure.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 01, 2018, 08:21:30 PM
Give a Taker a fish and you feed them for a day.

Give a Taker a poisoned fish and you feed them for their lifetime.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: MauveHand on July 02, 2018, 01:28:35 PM
Give a Taker a fish and you feed them for a day.

Give a Taker a poisoned fish and you feed them for their lifetime.

Build a man a fire, he feels it for as long as he can keep the fire going.
Set a man on fire, he feels it the rest of his life.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 03, 2018, 10:21:39 AM
I work as a Taker so I can afford the amount of alcohol to keep being a Taker.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 03, 2018, 10:29:24 AM
Where there is a will there's a way.

If there's no way you're probably in a Loss.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 03, 2018, 10:34:52 AM
There was once a man from Nantucket
who thought he had kicked the bucket.

And he had. I killed him again and took his driving license and social security card.

Not all Casualty jokes are funny. Even the US Loss ones.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 03, 2018, 10:41:50 AM
The Optimist sees the glass as half full.

The Pessimist sees the glass as half empty.

The Randian sees a business plan involving several Takers, a Latent, an Enclave and polluted water.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 03, 2018, 12:55:27 PM
Crusaders please watch your strep in the Loss.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 03, 2018, 06:11:00 PM
Fellow Takers, please know you are not worthless.

Your organs can be sold for a good price in a Recession.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 03, 2018, 06:31:27 PM
My friend made a great meal in my Enclave yesterday.

They tasted pretty good.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 03, 2018, 06:50:03 PM
If you are what you eat then aren't Casualties more human than any of us?
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 03, 2018, 08:22:38 PM
I went to a food riot in the London Recession last night and a footie match broke out.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 03, 2018, 08:23:49 PM
The best part about Blight jokes is they never get old.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 03, 2018, 08:25:34 PM
The age of death in the Loss is average.

If you lived in the 1300s.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 03, 2018, 08:42:28 PM
This old man, he played one, he played nick nack with my gun.

With a nick nack paddy wack give a dog a bone he became Casualty bait on my way home.

LALAS!
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 03, 2018, 09:04:28 PM
Q: What do you call a group of dead Takers in the Loss?

A: A supply drop.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 06, 2018, 01:22:29 PM
Q: What's harder to escape from than Vectors in the Loss?

A: Poverty
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 06, 2018, 01:27:54 PM
The world used to be on its last legs.

Now it's on two legs.

Thank you Blight!
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 06, 2018, 08:44:22 PM
Q: How do you make a Crusader happy?

A: Tell them b-positive.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 07, 2018, 03:03:26 PM
Q: What do you call a Banhammer joke on LifeLines?

A: A risk worth taking.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 08, 2018, 06:00:08 PM
There was one a Latent called Hector.

Once he was dead we filled him with lead in case he came back as a Vector.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 08, 2018, 06:06:22 PM
My Black Math colleagues are more than friends. They're AlgerBROS.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 08, 2018, 06:10:01 PM
Q: What's the Latent Malleus catch phrase?

A: One Puunnch!!
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 08, 2018, 06:20:09 PM
I don't like to party in the Loss.

It's dead and full of stiffs.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 08, 2018, 06:26:19 PM
I go to the Loss to record my audio diaries.

Casualties make great sound bites.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 09, 2018, 05:59:12 AM
Have you tried the Immune Diet?

You can lose 30 Lbs in just one day!
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 10, 2018, 06:16:58 PM
I was happy for five years in the Loss.

Then I opened the front door.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 12, 2018, 05:42:13 AM
 Damnatio memoriae

What being a Taker requires.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 12, 2018, 07:22:56 AM
 Fat people in the Loss....

Mostly became extinct.

Except for Tammy. Fat, fat Tammy.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 12, 2018, 10:08:14 AM
I got 99 problems facing my Enclave..

100...

104...

114....

123...

128...
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 12, 2018, 10:18:49 AM
Q: What's the death rate in the Loss?

A: One per person.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 12, 2018, 07:16:48 PM
When there is no more room in the Recession Homo Sacer will walk the Loss.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 12, 2018, 07:24:01 PM
All Takers are a threat to citizens of a Recession!

... except the rich ones
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 12, 2018, 07:25:00 PM
Killing 9 to 5

.... Isn't a good Black Math ratio.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 12, 2018, 07:30:05 PM
Dirty Talk in the Loss:

'I'm driving to the office in my new car to deal with paperwork all day.'

'Where's my moca-latte Frappuccino grande?'

'Did you have to commute?'

'I live in suburbia'

'I'm going to hit the gym after work.'

'Where's your...briefcase?'

'Don't forget your wallet and keys'

'Come back to a home cooked dinner'
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 15, 2018, 09:24:45 AM
Keep making those Casualty jokes until the Ratio calls you.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 17, 2018, 08:09:26 AM
I tried to sell my soul.

But apparently non-human ones don't count for much.

My Loss.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 17, 2018, 08:18:14 AM
A Flush beats a Full House.

Except in the Loss where we have no plumbing.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 17, 2018, 12:38:04 PM
Come, weary traveller and lay down your head

For like so many Takers you will soon be dead

(Found scrawled on a wall in the EU Loss)
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 17, 2018, 01:26:37 PM
Someone Shot me for being a Latent.

I paid more Bounty and Shot up again.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 17, 2018, 01:38:47 PM
I'm really craving 5 Guys.







.... Who tricked me out of my Bounty. Did you see them pass by?

Bastards.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 17, 2018, 01:40:49 PM
I really hate Late'Uns.



Don't they know the time?
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 17, 2018, 01:43:19 PM
I heard the 1st Black Math Cultist was odd.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 18, 2018, 10:52:53 AM
Look into the Blight and tell me my Casualty jokes are funny.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 18, 2018, 07:34:10 PM
Q: What do you make in the Loss that you can't see but can kill you?

A: Noise.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 20, 2018, 04:23:44 PM
Casualty jokes are My LifeLines.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 23, 2018, 04:28:31 PM
Hello, I'm from the Morrow Project and I just woke up.

Is this Hell?

Edit: Heard this on the radio in The EU Loss. WTH?
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 23, 2018, 04:35:18 PM
My sex life as a Taker is great I always feel I'm fucked as least once a day.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 23, 2018, 04:52:14 PM
The Loss.

Taking back your future one bite at a time.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 23, 2018, 05:19:03 PM
Tell me, Have you seen the Yellow Sign?

The one that says Latents not allowed in Car Costa.

You know the old EU Coffee drive thru.

Costa Coffee.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 26, 2018, 10:48:51 AM
The only reason Recessions exist is because the Crash hit at Eight O'Clock in the Morning.

Do you like my new shades?
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 26, 2018, 10:59:57 AM
The Recession.

Don't work, don't eat.

The Loss.

Work and get eaten.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 26, 2018, 11:42:50 AM
Teach a Taker phishing and
 ಠ益ಠ...(✖﹏✖).

GNAT.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 26, 2018, 11:58:59 AM
Q: What's at the end of everything?

A: Not the Blight. Fuck you laws of Entropy!
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 26, 2018, 12:00:59 PM
Q: Why was the Black Math sad?

A: They had too many problems to work out.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 26, 2018, 12:20:19 PM
I love living in the Loss.

Until I sober up. And I don't drink anymore.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 27, 2018, 02:16:58 PM
The Recession is stable and successful.

And other jokes.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 29, 2018, 08:31:33 AM
Q: What kills as sure as the Blight?

A: Pretty much everything and everyone else.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 29, 2018, 08:47:05 AM
Q: What do you call finding a tin of Mushy peas in the Loss?

A: A chance to starve to death a day earlier.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 29, 2018, 08:56:19 AM
Q: What do you call a selfish person in the Loss?

A: Someone who saved the last bullet for themselves.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 30, 2018, 02:17:09 PM
I love the Working Dead.

Thank you Carrion Economy for Latent slave labour.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 30, 2018, 02:23:43 PM
Q: What do you call a burned body with a rictus smile with an empty flamethrower in a burning city?

A: A Black Math who made the equation.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 30, 2018, 02:27:34 PM
Q: What do you call a Casualty walking in a random direction in the Loss?

A: A No Brainer.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on July 30, 2018, 02:30:04 PM
Q: Why does the world have Casualties?

A: To make the poverty less depressing.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on August 02, 2018, 02:42:51 PM
Not everything in a Loss has a cost.

Corpses are free.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on August 03, 2018, 06:13:38 PM
Q: What do you call a Bean Counter in an Enclave?

A: The cook.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on August 05, 2018, 06:20:46 PM
Divide by Zero or as Black Math call it a Destroyed City.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on August 05, 2018, 06:21:58 PM
I want to supply jokes about the Recession but I don't know if the demand is there.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on August 05, 2018, 06:27:42 PM
Q: Why did the Takers cross the road?

A: They didn't. Casualties ate them.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on August 05, 2018, 06:51:46 PM
I met a Black Math with seven bites, who had come back from seven fights.

How many Casualties did he kill?
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: MauveHand on August 05, 2018, 06:59:17 PM
I met a Black Math with seven bites, who had come back from seven fights.

How many Casualties did he kill?

All of them. He just had to bite the last seven to death after he ran out of bullets.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on August 10, 2018, 10:00:36 AM
I swear I'm allergic to everything. (Except the Blight.)
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on August 10, 2018, 10:03:54 AM
Flammable and Inflammable Meek mean the same thing.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on August 10, 2018, 10:47:20 AM
One of the most horrifying things about living in the Loss is developing a functional sense of humour about a phenomenon and reanimated Corpses who used to be family, friends and colleagues.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on August 10, 2018, 06:20:27 PM
Q: Why did the Detoxin Taker die in the Loss?

A: Because they ran out of juice.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on August 10, 2018, 06:24:52 PM
Q: Why is Malleus the Latent popular with Detoxin Cultists?

A: Because he's a Swole brother.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on August 10, 2018, 07:00:03 PM
Q: Did you hear about the Detoxin Taker who refused to eat GMO Crops, food or animals?

A: They know a lot of ways to cook Homo Sacer.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on August 10, 2018, 07:02:26 PM
Being Detoxin it's true that eating non-GMO Crops, drinking purified water, daily exercise routines and a healthy lifestyle stops the Blight.

Of course being an Immune contributes a bit.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on August 10, 2018, 07:05:50 PM
I don't know if taking too much Soma causes memory loss...

... Or even memory of the Loss.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on August 10, 2018, 07:14:56 PM
I'm thinking about moving to Canada for some Blight radiation therapy.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on August 10, 2018, 07:18:17 PM
Float Like a Moth, Sting Like a Bee.

Shake my hand and become a Casual T.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on August 13, 2018, 06:13:48 AM
Q: Did you hear about the Detoxin Abberant?

A: It only ate skinny Takers.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on August 13, 2018, 06:18:44 AM
One little Abberant roaming all around, got shot in the football helmet and fell down back to the ground!
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on August 13, 2018, 06:21:43 AM
One Little, Two Little, Three Little Vectors.

Four Little, Five Little, Six Little Vectors.

And one abandoned daycare.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on August 13, 2018, 10:49:35 AM
Q: What are the two most expensive and addictive substances in the Loss?

A: Coffee and Sugar
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on August 13, 2018, 02:16:29 PM
My humour is so dark it's Blight.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on August 22, 2018, 04:03:43 AM
Q: What do you call a well balanced Taker with no physical or health problems?

A: A beginner.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on August 22, 2018, 04:09:41 AM
Q: What's the best thing about being Homo Sacer?

A: Can't be legally sacrificed to the gods in a Recession.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on August 22, 2018, 04:20:46 AM
I asked some Loss Raiders if they had any free food but all I got was a cold shoulder.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on September 05, 2018, 04:11:21 PM
Q: What do you call a safe Casualty?

A: A kick in the teeth.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on September 05, 2018, 04:16:22 PM
I feel that the Casualties and Meeks are truly God's chosen.

That's why I have to send so many to Heaven.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on September 05, 2018, 04:31:19 PM
Q: Why did the Sniper fall from the DHQS helicopter?

A: Because they were dead.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on September 05, 2018, 04:37:41 PM
I have the heart of a Latent.

And a lifetime ban from Leper.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Freebird on September 11, 2018, 08:06:18 PM
What does a Canadian geiger counter measure?

Ehdiation.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on September 12, 2018, 12:27:42 PM
Q: What has more brains than a group of Meek?

A: The walls behind them.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on September 12, 2018, 12:31:28 PM
Q: How many Casualties does it take to paint a floor?

A: Depends how high you drop them.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on September 14, 2018, 07:25:35 AM
Q: What do you call a DHQS Steward who was interrogated before being dropped off a building?

A: A Dead Letter Drop.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on September 15, 2018, 11:06:04 AM
Q: Why was the Black Death better than the Blight?

A: You at least had a better choice of disease that killed you.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on September 15, 2018, 11:09:23 AM
Q: Why is the Blight better than the Black Death?

A: The Blight kills fleas.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on September 15, 2018, 11:15:07 AM
Being friends with Latents means having a friend with benefits.

Mortality benefits.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on September 15, 2018, 11:18:55 AM
The Bubonic Plague.

Still better survival odds than the Blight.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on September 16, 2018, 12:42:52 PM
Q: What's worse than being a walking Casualty in the Loss?

A: Being a walking Stereotype.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on September 16, 2018, 12:45:02 PM
Q: Why don't Immunes drink alcohol?

A: Because they can't walk when they're legless.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on September 16, 2018, 01:30:55 PM
The Crash?

I remember when it started.

The Graveyard Shift of course.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on September 16, 2018, 01:36:33 PM
Q: Why did Mathematics kill so many during the Crash?

A: Because of safety in numbers.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on September 16, 2018, 01:46:28 PM
Dead?

I mean, hey... I'm still alive to write this aren't I? Iiiiiiiii? <Ubiq Chatbot Error 10110111>

......... Rebooting....... Online.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on September 24, 2018, 06:18:04 AM
Q: What do you call a Randian Vector?

A: A run for your money.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on October 01, 2018, 10:07:47 PM
Q: What do you call having a break in the Loss after a fast meal?

A: Torpor.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on October 01, 2018, 10:11:13 PM
Ring-a-ring o' roses,
A pocket full of posies,
A-tishoo!
A-tishoo!
We all apologise.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on October 01, 2018, 10:20:55 PM
Q: What's the difference between Takers and frogs?

A: I like to hear frogs croak every night.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on October 01, 2018, 10:23:13 PM
I'm so sorry but I really like to flesh out my Casualty jokes.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on October 01, 2018, 10:46:32 PM
Please don't think of yourself as a Latent.

Think of yourself as a beautiful semi-undead monkey bio hazard instead.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaaax on October 23, 2018, 09:29:32 AM
I wanted to join Black Math but when I told them I had killed 8 out of 5 Casualties they rejected me.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on October 23, 2018, 09:40:30 AM
Never lend Bounty to a friend. It could cause serious memory damage.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on October 23, 2018, 09:45:03 AM
Please don't kill Randians.

You might inherit their debt.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on October 23, 2018, 06:08:26 PM
The bad news is you're infected with the Blight.

The good news is that I don't believe in it so you're fine.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on October 23, 2018, 06:18:02 PM
I met a Crusader once who told me the reason the Blight exists.

Apparently, it's for a punch line.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on October 23, 2018, 06:37:31 PM
T-Minus never?

Of course I believe in it.

That's when we get rescued and taken to safety in Space by the Mushroom Kings of Mars right?
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on October 29, 2018, 06:24:24 PM
For camping in the Loss always use a Lay Tent.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on October 29, 2018, 08:46:24 PM
A is for Abberant.
B is for Blight.
C is for Casualty.
D is for shoot on sight.
E is for empty clip. Time to die.
F is for fucked. Use a weapon on the fly.
G is for gone. I'm sorry to say.
I'm sorrysorrysor
so sorry so sorry
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on October 29, 2018, 09:28:02 PM
Reason #59

You know you're a real Taker.

When you meet clients in a surgical gown, baseball cap and flip flops armed with a hammer and Ubiq specs.

And they take you seriously.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on October 29, 2018, 09:45:29 PM
Q: Whats worse than remembering your dead family while living in the Recession?

A: Getting a message from them originated in the Loss.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on November 06, 2018, 09:04:25 PM
A Recession Citizen walks into a shop and asks 'Don't you have any bread?' The staff reply, 'No, here we don't  have any meat. The shop without any bread is across the street.'
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on November 06, 2018, 09:05:50 PM
If I fail to be elected in my Enclave at least I can be infected and run again.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on November 06, 2018, 09:09:44 PM
SHUT UP AND

TAKE MY SUPPRESSIN
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on November 06, 2018, 09:14:49 PM
Welcome to U Beasts Go!

Are you a boy or a girl?

Or an an an Abberant?
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on November 06, 2018, 09:31:34 PM
I used to be a Taker like you.

Then I took an bullet to the knee.

Now I'm a Fenceman.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on November 06, 2018, 09:36:27 PM
If anyone would like to donate Soma Tea instead of me making these terrible jokes to cope with the horrifying reality of living in the EU Loss please do so.


I'll try again 40320 minutes later.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on November 06, 2018, 10:30:41 PM
Q: What did the Blight create?

A: The Blight.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on November 06, 2018, 10:32:38 PM
Q: What do DHQS call an Immune crawling on the floor?

A: Catch and release.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on November 06, 2018, 10:36:22 PM
My Casualty jokes are so bad I've had to change my Taker handle three times.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on November 06, 2018, 10:37:16 PM
Crime doesn't pay.

But somehow looting a dead economy does.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on November 06, 2018, 10:41:01 PM
The worst thing about being a Taker isn't that killing, lying and doing anything to survive bothers me.

It's that it doesn't.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on November 06, 2018, 10:53:06 PM
I'm an Immune. AMA.

Except: Where I am, name, address, vague location, how much you can sell me for, anything about me.

Mr Fucker to you.

Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on November 06, 2018, 10:57:23 PM
I think I've been working by myself in the Loss too long.

Shut up Pretty Princess Unicorn Frog.

Lion Lord Green is trying to talk.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on November 10, 2018, 12:45:41 AM
Q: How do you piss off The Finest in the US Loss?

A: Tell them they got Blue Flu during the Crash.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on November 12, 2018, 09:34:28 AM
Q: What's a Taker's worst day of the week?

A: Fray Day
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on November 12, 2018, 05:38:10 PM
Q: Why are some Takers Immune and some Latent?

A: To add to the flavour.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on November 12, 2018, 08:40:26 PM
If a DHQS dies in the US Loss how many innocent bystanders and Takers need to die before nobody saw it?




... Seriously, a Moth asked me via drone.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on November 12, 2018, 08:48:21 PM
Q: How do you make a Randian angry?

A: Ask them to tell you the net worth of Ayn Rand on her deathbed.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on November 13, 2018, 09:45:55 PM
Q: What's the worst thing about the Blight?

A: Working in Latent Porn.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on November 13, 2018, 09:46:32 PM
Latent/Immune Porn Ubiq Top Hits:

 #LatentsLastLonger
#BlackVeinBeauty
#SuPressinObsession
#Bite4TheNight
#LonelyLove
#MySpitKills
#Skin2Latex
#BodySuitBoudoir
#ImmunewithoutPoon
#Cum2Run
#OhOhOhImSorrryy
#BlightFeelsTight
#TorporArdour
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on November 20, 2018, 09:44:29 AM
Did you hear?

There was a big party and the whole world was invited.

But then some people wanted exercise and something to eat. So the party got out of control.

So everyone got a bit scared and stayed at home or joined the party. They had so much fun like obstacle courses and sprinting events.

Then after all the party games the party people wanted a nap.

They rested for a while but woke up kinda hungry. But they already used up so much energy they could only walk looking for a bite to eat.

The ones who didn't join in the party and stayed at home weren't hungry but they found the party had used up too much food and party resources.

And some people didn't join the party but got left behind and didn't win any prizes.

Happy birthday to the B.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on November 22, 2018, 09:40:29 PM
A Randian will only lend you a Bounty if you prove you can never pay it back.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on November 22, 2018, 09:43:41 PM
Q: Why do Black Math kids only have a maximum KD ratio of 1:7?

A: Because they can't count any higher.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on November 22, 2018, 09:46:04 PM
 Q: Why do Randians like 2+2=5?

A: Because of the interest.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on November 23, 2018, 06:12:52 PM
I fell in love with an Immune once.

Alas it was all in vein.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on November 23, 2018, 06:14:04 PM
Q: Why did the Immune fail the DHQS fitness test?

A: They didn't give 100% percent.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on November 23, 2018, 06:59:05 PM
Q: How do Immunes run faster?

A: Metal legs.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on November 23, 2018, 07:01:30 PM
Q: What's the best thing about Takers in the Loss?

A: They're 100% pure organic and free range.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on November 23, 2018, 08:33:30 PM
Q: Why aren't all the Casualty jokes good?

A: Because other Takers forget they can post on this thread as well.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 01, 2018, 08:08:46 PM
Why do Takers who start a fire in the Loss get in trouble but DHQS who start a fire in an Enclave get promoted?
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 01, 2018, 08:22:46 PM
Q: What's the main cause of suicide for Takers?

A: Reality.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 01, 2018, 08:27:15 PM
I'm not sick I'm Latent.

Sick sounds like you can get a cure.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 01, 2018, 08:36:23 PM
Q: Why does the Blight avoid Australia?

A: Chuck Norris was buried there.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 02, 2018, 10:11:50 AM
'Latent, Latent, why don't you stay?

I need to go oe'er the walls and into the frey.

Latent, Latent, why don't you turn?

Because the Blight in my veins only makes the bites burn.'

-Anonymous Leper Latent
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 09, 2018, 12:08:33 PM
Q: What's Black Math favourite book?

A: The Kamikaze Kama Sutra.

(Thank you Mauve.)
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 11, 2018, 11:35:17 AM
Q: Why don't Randians believe in Santa Claus?

A: Because they don't believe in Socialism.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 14, 2018, 06:53:51 AM
'The DHQS make a mess

I wish they'd clean house like Elliot Ness

Confess they kill Immunes to make Supress

I used to have Obsessin for Suppressin

But now I ain't messin.

SOZ. SOZ. SOZ.'

(Taken from 'Immune be Free' lyrics.)
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 14, 2018, 06:56:43 AM
Christmas is the time of year I just wish all the C's and V's just got together, showed goodwill, kindness, Xmas spirit and just got tired of human flesh.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 14, 2018, 07:04:11 AM
'Latent.

Latent.

Don't you fap.

Unless you want us all to apologise for your crap rap.'

(Anonymous Response to 'Latent be Free' lyrics)
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 15, 2018, 07:22:34 PM
Q: Why don't Takers like NASA?

A: Because they don't need another seven abberants.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 15, 2018, 07:41:38 PM
Q: How can you tell your Crusader Doctor is a meth fiend?

A: They keep saying "Fucfufuck, gimme some damn crystal meth!"
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 15, 2018, 08:15:13 PM
R.I.P Varlaax and Merry Christmas.

On The First Day Of Christmas, My True Love Gave To Me
A Dismembered Dead Casualty

On The Second Day Of Christmas, My True Love Gave To Me
Two Recession Films

On The Third Day Of Christmas, My True Love Gave To Me
Three Shots of Suppresin

On The Fouth Day Of Christmas, My True Love Sent To Me
Four Bloody Bounty

On The Fith Day Of Christmas, My True Love Gave To Me
Five Dead Stewards

On The Sixth Day Of Christmas, My True Love Gave To Me
Six Angry Meeks

On The Seventh Day Of Christmas, My True Love Gave To Me
Seven Bottles of Soma

On The Eight Day Of Christmas, My True Love Gave To Me
Eight Friendly Latents

On The Nineth Day Of Christmas, My True Love Gave To Me
Nine Swords Slashing

On The Tenth Day Of Christmas, My True Love Gave To Me
Ten Meat Sacks Running

On The Eleventh Day Of Christmas, My True Love Gave To Me
Eleven Sprinting Vectors

On The Twelveth Day Of Christmas, My True Love Sent To Me
Twelve Horrifying Abberants and 100 Dead Casualties
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 15, 2018, 09:17:17 PM
The Crash that took place 5 years ago.

How long ago was it again?
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 15, 2018, 09:24:53 PM
I remember Christmas before the Crash when I was homeless, hungry and poor.

That brings back great memories.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 15, 2018, 09:32:34 PM
Bounty is short and times are hard

Make sure you don't get Blight on your Christmas Card
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 15, 2018, 09:42:28 PM
Christmas is coming

The Meek are getting fat

Please put a Bounty in the old Black Math hat

If you don't have a Bounty bring a Latent to stay

So I can use their spit to make the Meek run away

(Anonymous EU Black Math)
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 15, 2018, 09:46:15 PM
There once was a Taker who kept making  Casualty jokes.

And nobody heard them because he died of the smokes.

Thanks V.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 15, 2018, 09:53:19 PM
Q: Why is a Taker like a blind person in a Recession?

A: Neither will see their kids at Christmas.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 15, 2018, 10:08:33 PM
25 Ways To Feel Good About Living in the Recession

Way #11

Watch the old time film Waterworld.

At least you'll never have to drink reconstituted piss.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 15, 2018, 10:14:35 PM
I was once asked where all the Casualty jokes come from.

I told them the Casualties whispered them to me and they quickly left.

The Casualties I mean.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 15, 2018, 11:00:51 PM
The Incy Wincy Taker climbed up the water spout

Down came the Ganglia and washed the Casualties out

Up came the Black Math with a full tank of propane

To burn the building to the ground and start the Job again
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 16, 2018, 09:52:22 PM
Q: How do Crusaders study the Blight?

A: One line at a time.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 16, 2018, 10:03:20 PM
So you've now read a ton of jokes about Randians.

That'll be 2 Bounty or 3 Crypto please.

What?

You think those jokes aren't pay-per-view?

You signed a non-verbal legally binding Loss/Taker fulfillment contract when you read the joke.

(Seriously, piss off Randians. No more Ubiq spam. Your jokes are a non-chargeable, free tradable, commodity.)
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 17, 2018, 12:30:28 PM
'Study Sickness

Study Sickness

Makes for some Crusader trickiness

To study the Blight right and keep up the fight

You feel the need to keep up to date with Speed

It's OK to bake it cheap when you don't want sleep'

(Unfinished lyrics from Crusader song 'Cicadian No Feed')
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 17, 2018, 02:58:14 PM
Q: How do Abberants celebrate Christmas?

A: They bleed red and green.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 18, 2018, 09:56:41 PM
'If you get infected with the Blight

Don't take fright

Put a bullet in your head

And it'll be all right'

(Scrawled on concrete wall in a Recession next to corpse of Black Math.)
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 19, 2018, 10:13:57 AM
Q: Why don't I post Jobs on LifeLines?

A: I did but everyone thought it was a joke.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 19, 2018, 02:33:55 PM
Q: What do you call everyone who was shot during the Crash?

A: A useful lie.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 20, 2018, 11:33:19 AM
Q: What do you call a Crusader who doesn't sleep?

A: A two-weeker.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 20, 2018, 02:43:56 PM
Q: What do you call the sound of clacking teeth in a Loss?

A: A deadly Christmas Carol.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 20, 2018, 02:53:06 PM
Q: What's the worst Job for a Taker at Christmas time?

A: Doing a closure Job for Santa.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 20, 2018, 02:55:42 PM
Q: Why didn't the Takers believe in Christmas?

A: They didn't want to deal with an Abberant Santa.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 22, 2018, 06:37:03 AM
Q: Why do Moths use drones in the Loss?

A: To have the element of supplies.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 22, 2018, 06:44:36 AM
People used to think I was crazy for taking my Drone to Job Negotiations.

I wear clothes now.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 22, 2018, 06:53:37 AM
Identifying marks used on Latent slave labour?

No. Just no.

That's not my brand of humour.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 22, 2018, 10:37:54 AM
The Blight will always turn you into a C.

Until it doesn't.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 22, 2018, 10:47:13 AM
I hope to travel by Space Shuttle to a place with no poverty, hate and Blight.

But it'll probably have no oxygen either.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 22, 2018, 10:56:29 AM
Vs become Cs unless killed by Ts.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 22, 2018, 11:03:10 AM
Q: What's worse than becoming a natural Latent?

A: Being a natural short-term sprinter.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 22, 2018, 10:07:27 PM
Q: How long does it take a BM Taker to get reinforcements?

A: 15 years or less.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 22, 2018, 10:19:51 PM
Q: What does a Taker fear being hurt the most?

A: Profit margins.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 22, 2018, 10:29:50 PM
Did you hear about the Archivists who kept collecting magazines?

I heard they have a lot of issues.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 22, 2018, 10:55:44 PM
Algebra Black Math.

Just don't ask Y.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: LordSkys on December 23, 2018, 05:16:06 AM
Q: What's the difference between the Meek and a dyslexic DHQS agent?

A: One will kill you and the other will yill kou
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: LordSkys on December 23, 2018, 05:20:06 AM
Q: Why did the DHQS start burying the dead?

A: To see how long it took to climb back out.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: LordSkys on December 23, 2018, 05:22:16 AM
Q: What's a goat herding LALA's favorite drink?

A: A Fuzzy Navel

(If you don't get it don't @ me)
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: LordSkys on December 23, 2018, 05:23:40 AM
Q: What do you call a crew that completely survives a JOLS.

A: Unambitious
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: LordSkys on December 23, 2018, 05:26:27 AM
Q:. What do you call an empty that used to be a baker painting a wall?

A: A dead bread head making a homestead red.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: LordSkys on December 23, 2018, 05:39:31 AM
Q: Did you here about the Nice Guy Moth that got strung up for messing with the balloon printers?

A: He tried printing himself a girlfriend.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: LordSkys on December 23, 2018, 05:50:32 AM
Q: What's the easiest way to find an EatClean fanatic on ubiq?

A: post as much alosine as possible.

like, 700 links and pictures of Alosine propaganda, seed packets, CRISPR, GMO's, and one video of a LALA force feeding an EatClean runner a head of purple, glow in the dark cabbage the size of the guy's head.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 24, 2018, 06:49:16 AM
Q: What do people in Free Parking get for Christmas?

A: Frostbite.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 26, 2018, 01:41:45 PM
Q: What's worse than a Meek with a syringe full of Blight?

A: A Latent Meek with a bucket and a knife.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 26, 2018, 05:29:30 PM
Q: What happens when you call Operator?

A: You get told to fuck off. She's done with the Loss.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 28, 2018, 03:55:27 PM
Q: How do Takers know the weather will be good?

A: They can hear breathing.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 31, 2018, 07:38:38 PM
Q: What's worse than a horde of Casualties in the Loss?

A: A horde of Casualties who had all their teeth removed.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 31, 2018, 07:51:05 PM
Give a Crusader a fish and they eat for a day.

Teach them to cook Meth and they never have to eat again.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on December 31, 2018, 08:39:21 PM
Q: How do you motivate Black Math?

A: Tell them YOBUO.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on January 03, 2019, 12:07:49 AM
'A, B, C, D E, F, G.

Randians don't you fuck with me.'

(Popular Childrens Song in Recession.)
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on January 03, 2019, 12:14:48 AM
Q: Why did the Taker stop using StopLoss?

A: They wanted a diagnosis that was affordable.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on January 03, 2019, 12:46:51 AM
Camping out in a Loss.

Is always in tents.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on January 03, 2019, 12:49:47 AM
Q: What's more dangerous than Meek in a Recession?

A: Latent porn stars.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: LordSkys on January 03, 2019, 05:35:35 AM
Q: Which parent would you ask for help to kill a Recession leader?

A: Easy, Papa-neus the way.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on January 03, 2019, 04:48:18 PM
Randian jokes aren't funny.

Unless you sell them for a profit.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on January 04, 2019, 12:22:24 AM
Q: What's the most terrifying word used about the Blight on any Recession?

A: Oops.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on January 04, 2019, 12:27:17 AM
Drugs, sex and jokes.

At least being a Latent getting two out of three isn't bad.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on January 04, 2019, 11:01:33 PM
Q: How can you tell a Taker has turned LALA?

A: When they invited friends for dinner and all that was left in the pot was a femur.

And then they posted a photo direct to your Ubiq account. With audio attached.

Dammit Phoenix!

Not.

Fucking.

Funny.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on January 04, 2019, 11:05:41 PM
I've never stolen a Taker joke before.

I just find them before they're Lost.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on January 04, 2019, 11:13:14 PM
Q: Why didn't the Latent turn Vector after cutting their wrists?

A: Because I shot them in the head first.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on January 04, 2019, 11:22:59 PM
Q: How does Banhammer scare the US Recession?

A: By threatening to spit. TWICE.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on January 04, 2019, 11:28:24 PM
Q: What's worse than living in the Loss?

A: Being dropped asleep in a pit filled with thousands of corpses and plague rats.

No wait, that's an improvement.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on January 04, 2019, 11:33:40 PM
Q: Why was the Black Death better than the Blight?

A: You could recycle organic biodegradables.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on January 04, 2019, 11:41:19 PM
Q: What do you call a Immune who can't stand?

A: Neil.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on January 04, 2019, 11:43:07 PM
I used to hate the Blight.

But then it grew on me.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on January 04, 2019, 11:49:41 PM
Q: How do you you kill a Randian during the Job?

A: Ask for proof of funds beforehand.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: LordSkys on January 05, 2019, 03:37:26 AM
Q: Why did the moonshine smelling hillbilly chucklefuck stay away from detoxin weed?

A: They were afraid of lighting up!
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on January 05, 2019, 12:21:41 PM
Roses are Red.

Violets are Blue.

I've got the Blight.

Now you have Sinews too.

(Anonymous Childrens Song about Meek.)
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on January 05, 2019, 12:45:56 PM
Q: What's one of the most dangerous things in the Loss?

A: A Vector that doesn't apologise.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on January 05, 2019, 12:47:27 PM
Q: How do you know an Abberant story is fake?

A: Someone lived to talk about it.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on January 05, 2019, 12:51:00 PM
Q: How can you tell your friend is infected with the Blight?

A: They're fucking eating people!
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on January 05, 2019, 12:57:28 PM
'Chucklefuck

Chucklefuck

What do you know?

Tell me and I'll give you some blow.

Chucklefuck

Chucklefuck

Don't you lie.

If you do I'll feed you to a Casualty and you might die.'

(DHQS PA propo recorded in Free Parking site.)
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on January 05, 2019, 01:24:07 PM
A Vector once bit Banhammer and turned into a Moth.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: LordSkys on January 06, 2019, 03:44:46 AM
When an empty sees Banhammer, it starts cowering.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: LordSkys on January 06, 2019, 03:46:07 AM
Banhammer is the only person who hasn't regretted his violent tendencies.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: LordSkys on January 06, 2019, 03:47:12 AM
Recessionists fear the blight. The DHQS fears Banhammer.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: LordSkys on January 06, 2019, 03:48:59 AM
It's the break out story about a slave and his life story.

5 years a Banhammer.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on January 06, 2019, 07:28:35 AM
Q: Why is a harvested Immune the same as the Western states of America?

A: They're both been amputated.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on January 06, 2019, 07:32:25 AM
Q: What hellish architecture killed more people than soldiers during the US Crash?

A: Mcmansions.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on January 06, 2019, 07:33:57 AM
Q: What do you do if you don't find Casualty jokes funny?

A: Ask a Randian Enclave for a refund.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: LordSkys on January 07, 2019, 11:08:11 PM
Q: How do you tell vector's religion before it died?

A: Listen closer.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: LordSkys on January 07, 2019, 11:10:02 PM
Anyone else read Banhammer's thread about the Loss?

His mom seems like quite the helicopter parent.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: LordSkys on January 07, 2019, 11:12:57 PM
If a tree goes Vector in the middle of the forest, is there anyone there to be given serious psychologic trauma?
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: LordSkys on January 07, 2019, 11:17:12 PM
Take a ride on Papa Doc's Railroad

Do not P.A.S.S go, do not collect 200 bounty.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: LordSkys on January 08, 2019, 03:26:10 AM
Q: Which enclave talks the most?

A: Distributy, the keep drone-ing on and on
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax 2.00 on January 08, 2019, 07:36:24 AM
 Q: Why is the Casualty joke thread better than real Casualties?

A: Because the jokes will eventually stop.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: LordSkys on January 08, 2019, 04:10:00 PM
Q: Why is the Casualty joke thread better than real Casualties?

A: Because the jokes will eventually stop.

I mean, unless abberants start torrenting
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: LordSkys on January 18, 2019, 01:59:34 AM
Q: Why don't we get together around the campfire and sing kumbaya?

A: It'll draw casualties.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: LordSkys on January 22, 2019, 03:21:46 AM
Video killed the Radio Star

The blight brought him back.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: LordSkys on January 22, 2019, 03:29:54 AM
Q: What did my mate say when an infected male stripper was running towards me and my wife?

A: "Victor, the Vector with a pecker, has entered your sector; you better protect her, bounty collector"

Victor bit my mate, so this is in his honor.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on January 25, 2019, 09:58:42 AM
Q: Why is it unfair to think all Crusaders are on Meth?

A: Because some take Cocaine as well.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on January 25, 2019, 10:47:08 PM
Q: What do you call unprotected Latent sex during the Crash?

A: Romero E-Fucked.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on January 25, 2019, 10:55:20 PM
Q: What do Takers living in a Recession call PTSD?

A: Re-runs.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on January 26, 2019, 06:58:21 AM
Q: How do you know a Taker is rich?

A: They have emphysema.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on February 03, 2019, 08:37:54 PM
 Q: What was the safest place to be during the Crash?

A: Pindar's House.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on February 08, 2019, 11:09:03 PM
Q: What do you call a Sellout in a Loss?

A: Homo Facor
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on February 27, 2019, 07:14:09 AM
Best book in the Loss?

'A Recession is a great place to live.

And other jokes you can tell yourself.'
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on March 01, 2019, 08:03:56 AM
Q: How do you kill an unkillable Abberant?

A: You kill it.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on March 02, 2019, 02:07:58 PM
Best book abOut rHe BliGht?☺?

'Man Jesus with the Golden Arm.'
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on March 06, 2019, 05:31:49 PM
Q: Why are Recession kids so bad at the alphabet?


A: Because they forget their Cs.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on March 06, 2019, 05:46:56 PM
140% of people living in a Recession are eating enough.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on March 10, 2019, 05:48:48 AM
I asked my Immune friend what life is like in the Recession.

They're not my friend anymore after this joke was read.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on March 20, 2019, 06:21:59 AM
Blight Fun Facts #23

Hey kids! Did you know the Blight is economic in nature?

It's always consuming.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on March 20, 2019, 06:28:39 AM
Blight Fun Facts #10

Hey kids! The Loss is a terrible place filled with dead cannibals.

And Casualties too! :)
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on March 28, 2019, 01:31:13 PM
Blight Fun Facts #34

Hey Kids!

Always remember your  IMBs!

Immunes Mean Bounty! :)
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on April 01, 2019, 08:47:53 AM
Immune Facts #7

Hey Kids!

Arms, legs, feet and toes.

We can harvest them all except the nose! :)
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on April 18, 2019, 08:27:57 PM
As a Taker I'm only half retired.

I make it to the Recession border.

Then I have to go home again.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on April 18, 2019, 08:31:47 PM
Blight Facts #31

Hey Kids!

Unicorns might not be real...

But neither are Aberrants! :)
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on April 18, 2019, 08:52:00 PM
Q: Why do Casualty jokes keep being produced?

A: Because morality is an unsuitable hypothesis for a Taker.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on April 18, 2019, 08:55:59 PM
Q: How do Randians kill Enclaves?

A: By making prices not inversely related to supply.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on April 18, 2019, 09:00:30 PM
Bounty Facts #9

Hey Kids!

Are your parents dead?

If so then use their forms of ID to claim your Bounty and food rations.

And we're sorry! :)
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on April 18, 2019, 09:04:45 PM
Recession Facts #0

Hey Kids!

Food, water and shelter aren’t free.

But Soma is! :)
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on April 18, 2019, 09:18:20 PM
Recession Food Facts #3

Hey Kids!

Are you a Dog Person or a Cat Person?

They both taste good to us! :)
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on April 22, 2019, 07:17:15 PM
Q: How do you cure a Latent?

A: Permanently.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on April 22, 2019, 07:18:15 PM
Q: How do you cure an Immune?

A: By adding salt.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on May 14, 2019, 11:49:06 AM
Q: Why do Takers want to escape the Loss?

A: Because waiting for Godot is worse.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on June 07, 2019, 06:06:02 PM
Q: What do you do if you find a Hauler on drugs in the Loss?

A: Report them for following company procedure.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on June 14, 2019, 09:18:02 AM
Q: What is Palbicke?

A: Palbicke is.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on June 14, 2019, 09:21:25 AM
 Q: When do Recession kids eat dinner?

A: Friday.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on June 21, 2019, 07:58:16 PM
Q: What do you call a blindfolded Shepherd surrounded by crawling Casualties?

....Hello?

Who said that? Whats a Q? Hello....? Who touched my le-
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on June 21, 2019, 08:01:35 PM
I spent an hour digging my friends grave today.

He still thinks I'm making a supply drop.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on June 22, 2019, 01:56:25 PM
My Recession friends Camera Drone went down in the Loss.

But its still Screaming.









.....Streaming. Jeez. Typo. Sorry!
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on June 22, 2019, 07:21:45 PM
Q: What's worse than being a Taker in a Loss?

A: Being a Stalker in The Zone.

(I miss that Pre-Crash Russian Reality Show.)
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on June 22, 2019, 07:52:54 PM
A Taker stumbles across a Magic Lamp in the Loss.

They open it and gets 3 magic wishes from a Genie.

Genie says: 'Tell me your 3 wishes!'

The Taker thinks and replies: 'My 1st wish is for an unbreakable enormous Blight proof wall to enclose the Recession'.

The Genie magics up a gigantic wall 2 thousand metres high and a 100 metres thick enclosing the Recession.

'Your next wish?' Asks the Genie.

The Taker wishes for everyone they knew who died in the Crash to reappear healthy behind the wall.

"Done!' says the Genie.

'And for your 3rd wish?' The Genie asks the Taker.

'Easy!' the Taker replies.

'Now fill it to the top with Blight.'
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on July 07, 2019, 01:31:06 PM
Its Raining
Its Pouring
The Old Latent was Abhorring
He Went To Bed
Bumped His Head
And the Enclave Was Wiped Out in the Morning

(Popular Meek Rhyme in Loss.)
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on July 15, 2019, 08:32:20 PM
Roses ate Red.

Roses ate Blue.

Roses don't make me a Casualty too.

(Children's Song in Free Parking.)
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on July 15, 2019, 08:48:38 PM
Give me Blight in my veins
Keep me running
Give me Sinews in my veins I pray
Give me Blight in my veins
Keep me running
Until the end of days

(Partial Meek Hymn found in burnt out building.)
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on August 02, 2019, 01:45:43 PM
 Blight Facts #6

Hey Kids! :)

Homeopathic Medicine doesn't cure the Blight.

.....Or does it?

Free trials available in a Free Parking DHQS Faculty near you!
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on August 25, 2019, 07:00:25 PM
As a Moth I know the exact time and place of my death.

.......

The DHQS told me.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: VB3 on August 26, 2019, 08:44:16 PM
Yankee Meek went to town
Riding on a Dronkey
Stuck a needle in his arm
And created an Atrocity
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax.v4.00 on October 04, 2019, 08:27:55 AM
Q: Why are people in the Loss walking economies?

A: Their stomachs suffer from inflation.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax.v4.00 on October 04, 2019, 08:31:27 AM
I remember the Crash...

I drank food colouring and dyed a little inside that day.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax.v4.00 on October 04, 2019, 08:38:16 AM
Q: What did people in the Recession use before candles?

A: Bills.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax.v4.00 on October 16, 2019, 07:45:16 PM
I made so many Casualty jokes I died and became an Abberant.

.....

....

Again.
Title: Re: Casualty Jokes
Post by: Varlaax.v4.00 on October 16, 2019, 07:51:52 PM
Fellow Takers are allowed to print, copy, re-tell any Casualty jokes made.

Just not any about Randians.

My contract owed to the Guineamen of the Loss forbids (Do it anyw--. <errrro>

<Excusion Clause Ubiq Bot Now Active.>

Bounty now owed=☺